It's come to my attention....

...that I've somehow, somewhere, become shitty at parking my car.  (Pause for husband's resounding 'HELL YES!!!!')

I have photographic evidence of this.  Recently, the hubster and babester followed me into a McDonald's parking lot.  I wanted us to have two spaces together, but the first two I saw weren't the lot's normal, diagonal lines - these were straight lines.  Well, for some reason, my mind could not process that in the few seconds I had to spot the spaces and maneuver the car into it.   So here's how we ended up:

To quote my favorite blog, "Whuck!!??!??" 

Two other notes on that photo.  A.) The color is bad because I, in my shame, moved before hubby could get things set right on his camera and B.) you can't really tell, but I'm gesturing to hubby.  In the way that only wives can gesture to their husbands and still live to tell about it.  :)

Then on my dear niece's birthday, St. Patty's day, I came back from lunch and found a juicy corner space at the office lot, and smiled grandly as I swiped it.  When I came back out that afternoon to leave, I noticed the car to my right was inexplicably close to me.  'Jackhole!'  I said to myself....until I realized I somehow had swung my ass-end perilously close to their space. I thereby condoned all cursing that my co-worker had likely bestowed upon my empty vessel and thanked them silently for not keying my car.  I seriously considered leaving them an 'I'm sorry :( ' note under their windshield wiper.  Oh, the shame!!

Then the very next morning, after getting out of the car and procuring my laptop from the trunk, I walked around the driver's side again and thought 'How the hell did I get THAT close to the car beside me??'

Granted, it could be worse - but I am clearly 'cheating' towards the other car.  Not to mention - there's even a curb on my passenger's side, so why didn't I cheat THAT way? AND --  I pulled into the space!  SIGH.  Epic fail.

The absolute worse part of this one was...the car that I was too close to in the above incident???  SAME DAMN CAR from my St. Paddy's day shame!!!!!!!  Thank god I left early that day so they don't think I'm a bad parker AND a stalker.  They would have every right at that point to key my car, or at least egg it.  Shame, part deux. 

I should add that I've NEVER been able to back into a space.  I mean let's be honest, if I had to rely on reverse for anything more than getting out of my garage each morning, there could be big time trouble.  And tons of insurance claims (boy wouldn't State Farm love me then??). Hubby gives me nightmares and cold sweats every time he tells me about the English driving test. I can safely say I'd be a pedestrian only in that country.  No question about it.  Here's hoping we never have to move there, or I'm in trouble. 

I can only really parallel park if there are no cars already in the line so all I have to do is pull to the curb and roll up to a line.  The aforementioned 'reverse rule' curses me here as well.  But between the lines, straight forward parking?  Never a problem.  Until recently.

Now, I could blame a lot of things on this recent development.  I could blame the fact that I'm turning 40 this May, and I just don't give a damn anymore (LOL).  I could blame that having a baby somehow shifted my center of gravity, causing the lines in parking lots to somehow become drastically askew in my field of vision.  Or that the leftover baby hormones and new mommy haze make even the most simple things difficult.  I could blame always being in a hurry when I park (which is sometimes the case).

Or I could just admit to sucking at it more recently, and go on with my life.   I think I'll stick with that.