Post-partum, part 1 (or, more things they don't tell you)

I have to say the biggest 'shift' after having Emily - aside from the scary yet very 'in your face' realization that hubby and I were now solely responsible for another living soul - was going from 'pregnant lady' to 'nobody'.  It dawned on me that I didn't cry when she was born.  I was in this odd 'shift' in my own body, was concerned about her and if she was okay, and wanted to absorb how sweet and adorable dear husband was being that I sort of left myself out of it.  If that makes any sense (not really, I know).

It was a beehive of activity in and around little room 203 in Summit Hospital in the ensuing hours, but most of it was no longer on or about me.  A few hours ago, it was ALL about me - suddenly, it wasn't.  Sure, I had nurses who were tending to me and they were really great.  My dad and nephew got me a sandwich and soup from Panera, which was much needed.  I probably inhaled it.  I was given instructions as to what drugs I was required to take and what to expect from them and the nursery during my stay. 

Everything else was about Emily, her daddy, and everyone meeting her.  As it should have been.  I was tired, sore and relieved it was all over.  I honestly don't think it had sunk in with me yet that we had a child and her name was Emily.  Wow.  But I was no longer the star of the show - I was the understudy.  Not only that, but I was so hormonal and tired and overwhelmed that I was hardly even emotional about all the wonderful things happening.   Sort of a shame really.  In some ways, I feel like I 'missed' a chunk of all of it just trying to feel like myself again.  It was strangely isolating in a way.  Like I was VERY connected to the goings on with Emily, but at the same time, removed from it all so I could let my body heal and rest.  I'm not sure how else to describe it, but it caught me unaware.

My first answer to the call of nature was an adventure.  It was about 2 hours after I'd given birth, and it took two nurses, a wheelchair, and what strength I could muster.  Let's keep in mind how uneven my epidural had become (thanks to that hot spot).  My left leg was barely tingly while my right leg felt like it weighed 1000 pounds.  Knowing this, I warned the well meaning nurse that she was going to need help.  It wasn't until she had me turned and sitting on the edge of the bed that she realized I was telling the truth.  So in comes the second nurse.  Despite her help, I still had to attempt to put some weight on that leg to get going - but literally, it was like a noodle.  There was nothing I could physically do with it at all.  Being noodle leg reminded me of that episode of Seinfeld - Fusili Jerry.  LOL!!!!

Oh, I was also told that I had MRSA in my nose.  Remember me mentioning that stupid ass nose swab they did when I came back to the hospital after my water had broken?  Yep, that was for that.  And I had the superbug in my nose.  I sure would like to have known when he crawled in there, but at any rate...!  Now I had fun stuff to swab up my nose twice a day for a week, and had to be really careful about blowing/touching my nose and washing my hands before handling Emily.  Other than that, I would have never known I had it.

Finally, around 6 pm or so, the crowd had thinned out and it was just me, Chas and Emily.  That was such a special time.  We were all still getting used to each other.  We were learning how to feed her and burp her, burrito her in a blanket and change her diaper.  We watched a Cubs baseball game on TV with her - one that her uncle Geddy was attending (no surprise that he was there, or that we saw him.  Things in her life work out that way when it comes to her 'uncles').  We heard fireworks faintly outside the window, a preliminary celebration of America's bicentennial.  And - we were learning things from the nurses that were bullshit (make her wait 4 hours between feedings?  I think NOT, girlfriend!!!). 

Chas had decided to stay the night because he thought he would want to go see her in the middle of the night (awww).  I had decided not to be an idiot and have Em in the room with us - we both desperately needed sleep and I wasn't breastfeeding anyway.  When the nurses came in around 10 pm to give me my meds and my Ambien, he had decided to go in and do her last feeding before he came back in for some sleep.  I do not remember him leaving the room or coming back in.  I do not remember anything until it was 7 am and the nurse was back to wake me and give me breakfast.  I literally slept in that same position all night (flat on my back). Chas said he has never heard anyone snore as loudly as I did that night, and I would believe that.  If I were the drug seeking type, I would seek Ambien always and forever.  That stuff is MAGIC.  Get some whenever you are offered any.  Or even if you're not.

Emily's birth story (a cautionary tale) - she's here!

It was at this point that Linda left, so it was just Chas, Debbie and my mom left in the room.  I recall looking at the clock before my first push.  It was 1:10 pm.  I also remember trying to push the way the nurses told me (in your butt, like you're having a BM) and not doing it quite right.  In my defense, this was all new to me aside from the fact that I couldn't really feel those muscles at all.  By the third push, I was apparently doing it right per the affirmations from the nurse.  Thanks to my epidural 'hot spot' - the technical term for the fact that I was feeling all the contractions in my left hip bone - I knew when the contractions were coming before the monitor did, meaning I was already pushing sometimes by the time they were telling me to.

The doctor came in.  Not my dear Dr Halcomb, but the doctor on call, Dr. McCullogh (it was a holiday weekend after all!).  About midway through my pushing, she said 'wow what a head of hair!'  I realized she was touching my baby's head - the head that was only just crowning - and curling its long-ish hair in her fingers.  I also remember the look of utter shock on Chas' face when he saw this.  Thankfully I did not have this view.  It probably would have freaked me out to the point that I would have tried to suck the baby back in.  :D  Chas told me later that seeing the head come out was VERY surreal.  It came out in the shape of a long sausage, and then 'sprung' into actual head shape.  (I do kind of wish I had seen that!!)

Honestly I remember Chas' facial expressions more than just about anything, and while he was holding my hand to comfort me, I remember patting and rubbing his arm to comfort him too (more like try and calm himn a little).  I do recall being told that the shoulders were out - now, one more push and we'll have a baby.  So I did, and we did.  'It's a girl!' Dr. McCullogh said.  (Honestly, I was kind of shocked!  I kind of thought she was a boy during the last month or so.)  I know Chas cried.  I think my mom and sister did.  I actually didn't but was just so glad to have her born - and really, to find out in that moment that I had a daughter.  Not finding out the sex in advance was one of the wisest things we had done!

After daddy cut the cord - which apparently is as tough as nails - they whisked her over to the bassinet to be checked and cleaned.  At the same time, I was being tended to.  Its another one of those things they don't tell you.  The new mother is sort of 'removed' from a lot of the after birth jubilation, as you're being looked after.  I missed when Chas told those in the waiting room it was a girl (apparently his face was priceless), and him calling his mother to give her the news.  I missed seeing her weighed and measured and her first bath.  All the while, I sat in the room being cared for and thinking 'I'm not pregnant anymore!!'  It was also becoming obvious to me just why I had a 'hot spot' with the epidural.  My right leg was SO numb, I was forced to use my arms to move it;  the left leg was only slightly tingly.

But - I will always remember her being brought back in, and the three of us sitting on the bed together, a whole family unit.

Emily's birth story (a cautionary tale), part 3

When we arrived back at Summit, we remembered well that the logical entrance was closed so we flew drove around to the ER.  I sat on a bench in the foyer, waterproof crib sheet under my butt, while Chas parked the car and found me a wheelchair.  He got me into it and we went through the doors -- literally not a soul in sight. Sod this (good use of British vernacular, eh??) - we thought - and Chas wheeled me at high speed across the hospital to the LDR entrance.  Of course their first response was something about coming through the ER again.  Uh we did.  Turns out they were doing construction in the ER so we would have had to gone in a bit further to actually see anyone.  Whatever.

I forgot to mention in part 2 that I had left my bed pillow in room 203 for the 'first admission'.  Chas called once we got home and was told they will store it for me.  Funnily enough, the room hadn't been touched, including my pillow, and I was back in the same place.  As I was contemplating how to get from the wheelchair to the bed w/out soaking their floor, I recall having to have a swab stuck up my nose for some test.  Just what I wanted at the time, but whatever.  I finally make it to the bed where they confirm my water had indeed broken (no shit) and I was about 3 cm dilated - I think.  Seriously this is all kind of hazy to me.  It was about 5:30 a.m. at this point.

Around 7, I was finally asked if I wanted drugs and my answer nearly was 'are you kidding me?  Of COURSE I want drugs!!'  But I think I managed to moan 'yes please.'  In came the nicest man in creation - some dude I started calling Dr Happy, because he made me happy by sticking a needle in my back and making it all go away.  About 30 minutes later, I think I started seeing unicorns and Tinkerbell-like fairies.  This was a MUCH different experience - I could handle this!!!  Oh and I was now 5 cm dilated.  Yee haw!!!

I never slept, but I did manage to kind of rest for the next few hours while I progressed.  I recall it was around this time that the nausea started kicking in, and I hurled a couple times throughout the late morning.  THIS IS WHY you should not eat whilst in labor, people.  I really, REALLY would liked to have been told this because I hate to throw up.  But alas!  The lovely monitor told everyone in the room when I was having contractions which was freaky - but in a good way.  Chas was in the room the whole time, as were my mom, Linda and Debbie.  The rest of the crew (my dad, Kristen and Jennifer) hung out in the lobby.

Around 11:30, I started to feel my contractions again on my left side, just down by my hip bone.  They called Dr Happy back and he dosed me up a little - and all was well.  Until about 12:30 - same thing except more intense.  Dr Happy was called - but Dr Happy did not arrive promptly.  I asked again and was told he was on an emergency call so it may be a while.  I appreciated the fact that I was NOT in an emergent situation, and surely didn't want to be one, but this hurt like buggery.  Every minute - pain like buggery.  It was not fun and I was seriously worn out and in PAIN.  I silently called Dr Happy a major jackhole.   :)

It was around 1 pm when the nurse checked me again, and 'happily' announced I was 10 cm and we could start pushing.  This was when I broke down.  If just the contractions hurt this much, how in the hell was I ever going to push a baby out without passing out from pain?  I mean I boo-hoo'd.  No one knew what to do for me or with me or what to tell me.  There was nothing anyone could tell me.  I just had to deal.  It was in the midst of my breakdown that the nurse came in to check me again.  I VERY happily realized at this point that I didn't feel a darn thing she just did.  The pain was ONLY in that place on my hip.  If I said this was a major relief to me, that would likely be the understatement of the decade.  I was SO so relieved, and now just wanted to focus on pushing the 'right' way and getting this child out.

Emily's birth story (a cautionary tale), part 2

We arrived at Summit around 9 pm.  We knew where the LDR rooms were but we were surprised to find the entrance nearest to them closed.  Luckily a security guard took pity on big ol suffering me and let us in.  When we got to the LDR check in, they told us we should have entered through the ER, but it was fine and we were checked into room 203 anyway.  (I had pre-registered so there wasn't much to do, thankfully.)

The nurse came in and got me in the gown, took my vitals, then checked me.  Not dilated or effaced.  At all.  So, she suggested walking the halls for the next hour or so - then they'd check me again and see where I was at.  I think all the family had arrived by then, so I was able to give everyone a quick hi before hubby and I walked.  Honestly I don't remember all the details - I was in too much freaking pain.  All I remember is walking slow-ish through the center circle of the nurses station and down all the offsetting hallways - into the waiting room a few times to give the family a thrill (HA).  We'd have to stop every 2-3 minutes so I could hang on Chas' neck, "breathe" (note:  this does not help.  It just attempts to make you focus on something else while trying to forget that someone is putting your insides through a wringer.  I call bullshit) and make it through the contraction.  The only other thing I clearly remember from this point in time is telling Chas that I could not understand why women ever actually chose to repeat this process.  Do they not remember the pain or were they in some kind of  bullshit denial pg lady/earth mother haze to try and sucker unsuspecting women (new mothers) to this hell? 

After an hour of this, we roll me back into bed and wait to be checked again by Nurse Ratched and told I was indeed about to have a baby.   Of course, the bitch arrives and tells me not only am I still not dilated at all, there's been really no sign of 'action' at all.  So, she says - 'We're going to send you home'.  Uh - excuse me, but - whuck??!?!?!?  I know I was all out of whack and ready to bust a cap in somebody's ass if they didn't get this baby out of me pronto - but really?  Contractions 3-4 minutes apart and you're sending me home????  Thankfully even my own mother questioned the voracity of this but it was to no avail.  That's why she's Nurse Ratched.  In reality, she was probably a really nice lady, but she was the big ol N.R. to me.

I stupidly agreed to wait around for a 'pain shot' which really equaled 'colossal waste of time', and asked her how in the hell I was supposed to know when to come back.  "When you're screaming the walls down in pain."  Hello, witch, I passed that about 3 hours ago, thanks very much.  I seriously do not remember the drive home.  I sit here and try to recollect it today - it's gone.  I DO remember it was right around 1 am when I climbed on top of the covers of our bed.  Thankfully I was with it enough to realize I probably shouldn't get IN bed.  Darling husband was too wired up to sleep so he sat up doing god knows what.  I just remember the dog laying there with me and me wanting to punch someone hard every 2 minutes or so.  Rest, my ass.

Then, around 4:25 am, the house went quiet as Chas now decided he'd lay on the couch and try to catch a few winks.  Not even 5 minutes later, a contraction started and I recall feeling a 'pop' and then warmth.  I may be a dumb new mother but I knew that meant my water had broken.   So much for sleep, honey.  Now allow me to square up and kick you in the junk so you know how bad I feel.

I will spare you the tale of what the hell do you do when you're excreting vast amounts of fluid while trying to call friends/family at the crack ass of dawn AND watch hubby try and salvage what was left of your once clean bed.  Family was awakened and we were set.  Suffice it to say I was freaked out, and had no idea how I wasn't going to ruin the car seat.  I vaguely recall hubby putting down towels and a waterproof crib sheet on the seat before we rolled out, back towards Summit Hospital.  It was on THIS journey that we traveled at 100 mph.

Emily's birth story (a cautionary tale), part 1

The ladies on my 'baby board' claim that writing all this down is both cathartic and a good 'history' for our children to have one day.  We'll have to see about that.  :)  Plus I figure since her first birthday is coming up (OMG!!!), this is as good of a time as any to share. 

By the by, if you're at all squeamish or it grosses you out to read things about bodily functions, this may not be the blog entry for you - although I'll try to be as un-gross as possible.  Hence this being a cautionary tale.  (That, and I have always wanted to use that subtitle.)

Cue up Friday, July 2nd.  I had been on maternity leave for a week, watching and waiting.  My boss wisely preferred me to do this watching and waiting from home.  :)  Anyway, I woke up around 6 am having what I thought was nature telling me it was time to have a crap.  I should also mention at this point, as normal, hubby was just then going to bed.  After going to the bathroom and finding a little blood, I went into the bedroom and told him 'I think this is it.'  His eyes were as big as saucers.  He got up and started flitting around the house claiming over and over 'I don't know what to do.'  Hey dude, I don't either - but there is nothing to 'do' right now anyway.  Our edict from the doctor was to go to the hospital when the contractions were 5 minutes apart for 2 hours solid.   So, reminding him of this, I somehow managed to calm him down enough to convince him to go to bed.  I figured he'd need as much sleep as he could get in the next 24 hours (Man, I love it when I'm right!!!)  and the contractions at this point were nothing close to regular.

The contractions continued on through the morning, but were not excruciating.  By around noon, though, they were varying anywhere from 5 minutes apart, to 10 or 12 minutes apart.  It was around this time that Chas got out of bed  - bleary eyed (probably from not having slept very well) and still nervous, coupled with a bit of a 'useless' feeling, I think.  I had nothing better to tell him, really, than they were getting a little more regular but not too horribly painful yet.

The irregularity of them continued through the afternoon.  They also started to hurt like buggery a bit more when they did come around.  I tried to 'breathe through them' and all that horseshit.  But there was not much to do but bear it and kiss the ground that the non contraction moments walked on.  I think one of us called our family and friends through all this and warned them.  Honestly I don't remember though.  LOL.

 It's at this time that I would like to flag a moment as 'THINGS NO ONE TOLD ME BUT SHOULD HAVE'.  You'll see several of these throughout the tale - this is the first.  I knew that women in full blown labor at hospitals and shit only ever ate ice chips.  But I wasn't in the hospital and I. was. STARVING.  My dear husband, eager to please his rotund and caterwauling wife, got me food from Captain D's like I asked him to.  I heartily ate it and was glad for it.  (As you are wise to foreshadowing, you'll know beyond the shadow of a doubt that this decision will bite me in the ass later.)

It was around this time that Linda arrived.  I think it was about 6:30.  The contractions were now 5-6 minutes apart with regularity and were of the sort that I could not talk through them with much success, except the stray curse word that undoubtedly came to pass my lips, and we were timing them. But we still had not hit the doctor ordered 'benchmark' (2 hours) - so we waited.

As 8:30 neared, the contractions had FINALLY hit the 'benchmark'.  We called my family and my friend Jennifer  - and we all headed towards Summit Hospital in Hermitage.  I remarkably don't recall Chas driving 100 miles an hour, either.  That would be saved for later.

Why my husband is awesome

I read a blog today that had this list going, and some of it was like a page out of my life.  So I thought I should do the same.  It's a very easy list to come up with.

The Top Reasons Why My Husband is AWESOME (in no particular order)

He is an awesome cook.  This bodes well for us because I am kind of a lazy cook.  Mainly, I just don't give a toss about it by the time I get home from work/gym etc.  I have neither the time or energy to devote to cooking on most days.   So trust me when I say - our family would surely go hungry if it wasn't for him.

He is amazingly patient.  This is a plus when you're dealing with children.  It's a HUGE PLUS when you're dealing with me.

He is the glue that holds us all together.  I am a freaking prize fighting champion worrier.  He takes things as they come.  He runs the errands I ask him to run (and some that I don't), he loves and cares for the tot every day without ever one complaint (though let's be frank, sometimes parenthood could make you want to run from the house screaming your fool head off), tends to the yard, the house, the dog and the cat, my family, our friends, computer customers and me.

He dealt with me when I was pregnant.  This is HUGE, people.  I'm a handful most days.  But hormonal, fat, tired and uncomfortable?  Really, do I have to say anything else??

He is fun (and thus better than me at playtime).  I can be fun, but I have to dig deep for it sometimes.  He just IS fun, and boy does Emily know it.  No wonder she stands at the baby gate and whines when he is in the kitchen cooking.  She wants her fun back, pronto.  

He loves my family and friends like they are his own.  If you're dating (or married to) a guy who doesn't do this, kick them to the curb with due haste.  If you're looking for a mate, this is a quality that should be high on your priority list.  Meanwhile, continue to be jealous about who I am married to.  :)

He's never met a stranger.  This sounds meaningless, but trust me when I say, it is not.  Do you know how great it is for me to introduce him to a wad of new people all the time (people I may have known for my whole freaking life or close to it) and not feel like I have to stand there and 'lead' the conversation?  HUGE deal.  I hope this is a trait my daughter possesses one day.  (When she is old enough to know not to take candy from strangers and shit like that.)

He loves Rush and hockey.  The first one, he came to on his own (thank god, or we never would have met!).  The second one, he blames me for which is fine by me.  What in the hell else would we do from October - June if we didn't have hockey?  LOL.  Point being, I'm glad we'll always have at least two things to do together that we both love.  Well, until Rush stop touring (can't.talk.about.it) or the NHL is defunct. 

and, last but not least...He puts me first.  Even though we have the cutest daughter in all creation, and she means everything to him, he always tells me that I am his first priority.  And not in the 'if momma ain't happy, no one is happy' mentality either.  But because he generally values our relationship above all others.  I hope I do the same in return even half as much as he does.

I could easily do a second edition of this and probably will.  Work actually expects me to work right now so I am forced to stop.  Curses!!!

I heart immigration

It sounds like a cliche.  No actually, some tell me - it sounds kind of sad.  LOL.  But - there's just something about it that makes my heart skip a tiny beat.  I'm a geek, I know - but I don't care.  It's a perfect little microcosm that just sits and waits for you to figure it out.  And just when you think you have - WHAM!  You figure something ELSE out which, in its minutia, changes everything you thought you knew.  It's like a paperwork carnival ride of sorts.

I could hardly contain myself when we went to Memphis for Chas' natz interview.  My only regret was that I couldn't go back to the interview room with him and see all the fabulousness back there.  Even the supposedly benign fingerprint appointment was fodder for fun.

Oh and while I'm thinking about it - one other awesome thing about immigration - the slang terms and acronyms.  Natz.  ROC. ACS.  IJ.  IO.  AOS - which actually could be either Adjustment of Status or Affidavit of Support. :)   Isn't that great???

Now that we're done, I miss it like a long lost friend.  Oh sure, I still participate in my forums and there is some satisfaction found in helping others.  But it isn't the same as being IN the system, watching it march along perfectly, waiting for the next mailing (which brought it's own measure of giddiness).  Of course, it was my awesomeness that made it march along perfectly :) but still - it sat back stoically and let me be awesome.  Hugs.

See, I told you

I'm a bad blogger.  I haven't blogged since April 19th.  I think someone from the blog police is going to slap handcuffs on me.  And soon.

It dawns on me that I don't really have too much to say.  The Preds have still been playing, which as ever, is a bit like those drama masks of old.  The agony and the ecstasy (See, spell check had to handle that for me.).  Honestly it has been such a roller coaster that I about feel wrung out dry.  Maybe that explains the lack of a blog entry. 

Sunday is my first Mother's Day.  I hope it ends up being something more than just a regular ol' Sunday - but somehow, I'm thinking not.  LOL.  Life is just busy so it's another day to get things done I can't get done during the week.  But I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and my sister (two INCREDIBLE moms!) and the rest of my family on Saturday.  And also getting to take Beamer for possibly her first ever outing to 'Bark in the Park'.  Good times. 

So I remain a new mom and an mediocre blogger.  Not too shabby in the grand scheme of things.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there - and that includes you with furbabies.  :-) 

I'm a bad blogger

I mean - aren't I supposed to be doing this every day?   I'm starting to think my life is just not that - well, interesting, for lack of a better term!  LOL. 

And looking back on some of what I posted, I'm also sort of afraid that I'm a bit of a negative Nancy which I totally do not want to be.  Well, not ALL the time anyway.  :D  I mean unless you count the Rush posts and the doggie post...I think other than that, I'm whining about stuff.  And that is grating - trust me, I know!

I mean let's face it - I've got it pretty good.  I have an awesome husband who lets me be his Negative Nancy (aka 'little prophet of doom') who worries all the time a bit about random crap that I can't control - and yet, he loves me anyway.  He takes care of our sweet daughter all day every day and never complains once.  Granted, she is the sweetest child in the world and a really happy baby, but still.  Being a stay at home parent can suck the life out of you on even your best days, and make you long for adult conversation (even the most mundane)  - but looking at him, you'd never really know.  Which is a level of awesome I struggled to maintain during my mere three months of maternity leave. 

My job, while not my dream job, is pretty flexible.  I never feel like I have to justify myself if I need to leave early for an appointment, or work for home because I wake up sick or Emily has an appointment.  The commute doesn't suck and my coworkers, on the whole, are pretty awesome.  The pay is decent and the benefits are great.  Sure, I wish I were doing nothing but immigration paperwork all day every day - but at least I'm not digging ditches. 

My family and friends couldn't be better.  I consider my close friends to be my family so I should just say my family are awesome.  No drama from them, no hidden agendas like in some families - just support, love and laughs.  All of us are healthy, which given what some of my other friends have gone through with their families is worth it's weight in gold.

So I dunno - is it me, or does the world as a whole have a bit of a negative outlook?  Or is it just that it's more interesting (and funny) to write about things that aren't roses and clovers all the time?  I mean you couldn't make the shit up about the King of Stink or my crapola parking of late.  I just don't want to sound whiny or bitchy all the time - so I guess this is my way of saying I know that I can be and I acknowledge it. There.  I said it.  Bad blogger.  B A D!!!!

Auto correct has made me stupid

I used to be a really good speller.  I have two English degrees on my wall to prove it.  :)

But somewhere along the way, as Microsoft started suggesting spelling for me - I got lazy.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true.

I know the word I want to use, and sometimes they're not easy ones (if you know me well).  So now I just barge ahead typing them even if, off the top of my head, I cannot for the life of me remember how to spell it.  Because I know my friend Auto correct will show me the error of my ways.

Websites do this for you now, too.  And it's making me dumb.

I could always spell words like 'consistently' prior to auto correct.  But it's been only recently from one of it's suggestions that I realized I was spelling it wrong anywhere and everywhere auto correct did not save me. Consistantly.Is.Wrong.  Just so you know.  And yes, it is underlined in a squigly red line right there just to prove me right.  (And squigly is also underlined, because it's not a real word, of course!!!)

There are copious other examples, most of which I am too ashamed to admit.  So I challenge you to think about it - see where it's kicking in and if these use to be words you could spell once upon a time.  Maybe I'm not the only one losing brain cells because of this.

This could be total bullshit

but I swear my oversensitivity to smells has gotten worse after having Emily. 

Surely by now you've read my rant blog about the King of Stink - the dude who sits behind me and knocks us all over with his yuppie ass cologne.  But today, not feeling well since a slight cold recurrence anyway, my teammate who sits beside me chooses today to thrill us all with her perfume.  Something she normally does not do.  And it is killing me.

I was already coughing like a good one but this has made it ten times worse.  Have already been caught by someone with the kleenex up my nose but I swear to all that is holy, I could not cope if it wasn't in there.   I might even hurl.  It's seriously that bad.

I never did well with any of this pre-baby but never did I nearly want to vomit.  Something is seriously amiss.

OMG she just packed her laptop and left.  I hate to be mean, but I hope she is gone for the day.  Sweet miracle of fresh air.  Oh how I missed you.

One of my grandest pet peeves is...

CLOSE STALLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most of you ladies will know what this means without me saying another word.  But for those of you fortunate enough not to be bothered by this (read: men), allow me to explain.

You go into a public bathroom.  There are 5 stalls, all available.  You pick the one closest to the door, close the stall door behind you and set about what you set about.  Seconds later, the bathroom door opens and closes and now you're not alone.  Despite ALL other stalls being open, including ones far away from you, this daft cow chooses the one RIGHT. BESIDE.YOU.  You have just been close stalled.

There's even a website which suggests not doing it.  I kid you not.  But still - happens ALL.THE.TIME. to me!!!!

I don't understand WHY.  What is the logic here?  Does she want to make sure she hears me clearly enough, or that I hear her?  Is she afraid her stall will be out of TP and she won't have me to rely on for 'spare a square' if she's too far away?  Am I unknowingly in her favorite stall so choosing the closest one to me is her way of making me pay?  Are the other ones too far for her lazy, fat ass to walk?  Seriously.  These things all cross my mind in that moment.  At the same time that my middle finger oddly finds its way into the air.  Sure, it's behind a stall wall but it makes me feel better for a fleeting moment anyway. 

The only way I know to exact any revenge against the offending cow - and feel free to steal my idea, ladies - is to get up before her and make sure my stall door slams against her stall wall as I exit.  I live in the hope that it made her jump and exclaim 'Holy balls!' to herself.  But that is probably wishful thinking.  I've had some other close stall haters tell me that they proceed to barrage the room with as many gross sounding noises as they can manage in a two minute period (I'll let your imagination run away with that!).  They are WAY braver - not to mention less modest - than I am, clearly.

By the by, the only excuses acceptable for close stalling is you have no other stalls available, either due to use or nastiness.  Those are the only reasons I have ever close stalled.  Beyond that, there IS no excuse for it.  Of all the rooms in a public building, this is the one where a tad bit of privacy is sacred -- or so one would think.  Oh yes, Emily will be brought up properly in this regard.  Mark my words.

So next time you go into a public bathroom, think of me, the close stall hater - and make sure you are not a perpetrator.  Some random chick behind a wall may just thank you.

PS - took a potty break after writing this and guess what?  Yep - close stalled!  By some bitch in flip flops (since when are they appropriate as 'business casual'????)...

I'm just wondering

As I read my daughter's 'order' for her hip x-ray, why the code for the medical issue is 'Abnormal Gait'....when she DOESN'T WALK!!  LOL.

I love the medical profession!  :D

Dogs are perfect, people aren't

I had never owned a dog before I met Chas.  He finally convinced me, kicking and screaming, to get one back in 2008.  I have always loved all animals so it wasn't that so much as it was fearing for my dear kitty cat's 'new life' which I was sure would be ruined by introducing a canine into the mix.

So, on Halloween night, we drove a short distance to the home of what's best described as a 'back yard breeder' who had 2 female Jack Russell Terriers - sisters to boot!   We looked at both, but it was the white one with brown on one of its ears that had the best reaction when Chas stuck his hand in the pen.  (In retrospect, we wish we would have gotten them both, but alas!)  So we chose her.  Or - does that mean SHE chose US?  I'm still unsure about that one, really.

In the car on the way home, we decided to name her Beamer.  We had debated dog names for a month or so, both of us not liking 'traditional' names, or 'people' names for dogs, etc.  As we brainstormed, Chas looked at her papers that she was born on Sept 11th (2008);  and, long story short, Beamer it was. 

Despite my tears and fears, the cat was initially fine, and then spent two days in the bathroom in a huff.  Cats must pout sometimes.  It's a very cat-like thing to do. I had a LOT to learn about training a dog.  I would never have done it if it weren't for hubby.  But I am so glad that we did.

That dog is THE.sweetest.thing.ever.  She sleeps with me every night, she is joyous when we return home, even if it's only been 2 minutes, and she accepted both the kitty cat AND the crying, pooping tot as one of her own from day one.  If we have babysitters at the house, they'll soon find their laps full of dog - whether they want it or not.  LOL. 

She is naughty at times.  In her early days, we had to trap her in the kitchen when we left the house because she'd destroy anything that had stuffing inside (like couch cushions!).  She still cannot turn down the chance to destroy a kleenex - even though she knows it's wrong!  She's eaten or destroyed possessions of ours we wish she hadn't.  She tracks muddy paws into the house.  She licks the tot all the time, hoping for dribbled food.  She eats rabbit poop and barks at things that aren't there. She incessantly wants to play ball.  Every bit of food you ever get for yourself can and will be scrounged - and she goes especially bonkers when you put something in the toaster.

But -- she is perfect.  If I yell or swat at her in a stressed out mommy moment, she forgets it like it never happened and wants to make up with ME, even though I should be the one asking for her forgiveness.  Dogs live in the moment and they just want to please you, always.  And they forgive and forget - truly, they do.  If I had that capacity (instead of holding a grudge as is my nature), I wonder how much different my life might be.  See - not only is she perfect, but she shows me how I could be better. 

So here is my very cool dog today.  Don't be jealous and wish she were yours.  Go adopt one if you want to learn a bit more about yourself.  I can't guarantee you'll get one as good as mine :) - and they are a lot of work - but the rewards FAR outweigh the sweat equity you'll put into it.

Rush post-mortem

Heh.  Cuz some of us kind of felt like we were run over by a truck yesterday.  But a happy truck, kind of like an ice cream truck with a huge Geddy Lee head on top.  :D

The pre-show party could not have been more fun.  Linda and I had door duty (checking folks in) and it was fun chatting with all the fans as they arrived.  Even more fun was judging the karaoke contest, which was honestly hard to do!!  My dear friend Scott (see us below!) judged the t-shirt/memorabilia contest, and chose a winner who was a cancer survivor.  Her 'Make a Wish' wish was to meet Rush.  Not only did they grant that wish, but Geddy also dedicated a song to her during that night's show.  Priceless!!  (Good choice too, Scott!!)

Seeing some of my old friends - esp. Scott and Sarah - - a gal Chas and I 'knew' back in our message board days but didn't realize until then who she was!! She was 'ilovegeddylee' - and she said my face when she told me that was PRICELESS.  :D  I don't doubt it - she was always awesome and remains that way today.

Made new friends too, which is truly what the experience is all about.  I told the organizer, Jeff, that we ought to just have a Rush fans get together some other time during the year for fun.  Because it sure was a lot of that!


The gig - truly memorable, esp. as my pal Angel was seeing them for the first time.   I think she used words like 'best live show ever' to describe it.  And she isn't kidding.  'Witch Hunt' almost made me cry, but I ended up more verklempt than anything.  :)  Neil's solo was killer.  'The Camera Eye' was another highlight, as was La Villa and (for me) Caravan.  Not to mention finally hearing 'Freewill' with Angel sitting nearby.  Sure beats getting on my cell phone to let her hear it, that's for sure.

I can only hope this means that Rush will play Nashville again.  Because while I don't mind traveling to see them - and always will if I have to - as you can see from the photos, there's nothing like having them in my own back yard.  Good times and noodle salad. 

OMG It's Rush day!!!!!!!

I can hardly contain myself.  :D :D  I hope to have a full report tomorrow but I took off work to recover (hee) so I may not feel like much of anything, damn it.

GEDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Man I'm so going to be hoarse after singing and screaming.  I hope Emily is kind to our dear babysitter. 

It sort of seems like I have a stream of consciousness going - which is probably about right because I feel like Road Runner right now, I swear.  High on life ONLY, I promise you. Believe me now or forget me later.  (Jesus, now I'm Hanz and Franz!) 

I'm going to quit while I'm ahead. 

Angel Harmon - see you soon, and can't wait til you're finally baptized at the alter of Rush!!!!!!!

7 Reasons why I love Rush - part 7

Can I just say it's a good thing I don't have to write a blog that means a crap on Sunday.  Because I won't BE worth a crap with excitement!!!!

Anyway - today's reason - their live shows.

I can't even begin to tell you what they're like if you've never been to one.  Starting somewhere in the mid 90s, they began their 'An Evening with Rush' concept.  (Gives me chills just typing it!!  LOL)  This means they have no opening act and take a short intermission during sets.  So you literally spend your evening with them.  It's possibly the best thing on earth.  Well, besides my family and friends.  :)

The evening starts with the pre-show music, always chosen by Neil.  Some stuff I've never heard, but I have heard Pink Floyd a few times which thrilled me.  Other known acts too (AC/DC, Black Sabbath, etc).  Inevitably during this time, as Linda and Chas will tell you, I'm like one of those spring loaded toys.  I can't hardly stand the wait.  Oh and it was during this time in Atlanta for the 'Snakes and Arrows' tour where the three of us got absolutely soaked waiting for the show to start.  See the photo below if you don't believe me.  But we still manage to look kinda happy.  :)  We were cold, we were wet - but we didn't really care.  Note the smart people behind us with an umbrella, and the puddles of water near Linda's feet. 

Linda and I have seen every Rush gig together - save one (when I went to Toronto for Rushcon).  I should also mention that, for some reason, we used to get ROUTINELY asked if we had pot.  LOL!!!  Every.damn.show. That includes our very first as young teenagers, AND after the 'Roll the Bones' gig - where it  was pouring rain and we were running to the car.   Literally running.  Because apparently, umbrellas + us at Rush gigs doesn't happen - we have proof (above).  But still, they asked.  Apparently wet pot is better than no pot??  This stopped for some reason in the new millennium.  Perhaps we look older and less chill-astic or something - but still.  How rich is that???  

But - back to our story.  So pre-show music complete - the lights go down and the video rolls (and I scream).  Usually its some creative little film that they've crafted full of dialog and characters (each of them playing at least one character), and sometimes - guest stars.  We've seen Jerry Stiller a bunch of times.  We've seen the South Park gang too.  Film ends and the awesomeness begins - usually with something very well known ('Spirit of the Radio' has been a recent one).  My favorite was probably the medley they did on the 30th anniversary tour, with 'The Big Money' as a close second.

Now these boys aren't spring chickens - but you'd never know it.  They don't dance and gyrate around like Steven Tyler or something.  But they DO play with verve and energy that is unmatched - and Alex and Geddy like to push on each other or make goofy faces to try and see if they can mess up the other person.  (I told you they were clowns!!)  You can tell they really love doing this, and they pull the audience in too.

Then after about an hour and a half of music, Geddy will say something about them being old and needing to rest, and they disappear off stage for an intermission.  Lights up and house music rolling. 

I should mention here something else that Linda and Chas will tell you.  I have a penchant during the show for SCREAMING at Geddy.  No one else, just Geddy.  I do not know why.  It's one of those things better left alone.  :)  The Gedster RULES. 

After intermission, the lights go back down and you get another video, albeit shorter (and not always with characters) and the second set begins.  It always includes a short Alex solo and the much touted Neil drum solo.  That is about the only point during the show where true fans sit in their seats.  Because we have to steady ourselves to watch the awesomeness (and pick our chins up off the floor).  The night is parsed with their hits, and album cuts from various segments of their career - and whatever new stuff has just come out.  This last CD of theirs is probably one of my all time favorites now ('Snakes and Arrows') so I can't begin to imagine what the next one will be.  This tour ('Time Machine'), they are doing 'Moving Pictures' in its entirety - which has been SUCH a treat. 

The music inevitably winds to a close, although we always get an encore.  The saddest part of the night is the walk to the car.  Even though you're high as a kite (from the music, people!) and your ears are ringing in delight - it's still hard to accept that it may be another year before you see them again.  But - as they are not youngsters - I'll take whatever I can get.  And if the show I just saw will be my last one ever, I will still have priceless memories thanks to them.  I will never forget any of it.

7 reasons why I love Rush - part 6

Today's reason:  the women of Rush

Did you know that Rush have a woman to thank for getting them started?  Yep, it's true. 

<--- Donna Halper - who I had the chance to meet in Toronto at Rushcon - was their earliest fan and advocate, getting them played on her local Cleveland radio station back in the early 70s.

Rush are notorious for having a largely male audience.  I can remember back to my first Rush gig - January 16th, 1988 during the 'Hold Your Fire' tour - that my friend Linda and I were one of few women in attendance.  Not counting the 'I'm here with my boyfriend' contingency, who really didn't give a damn about being there otherwise.   And I should point out that, as young teenagers, Linda and I relied on two other women - our moms! - to drive us to downtown Nashville to see the show.  Moms who sat and had coffee somewhere while we rocked out.

We can thank Linda and her mom for getting us 2nd row seats to see the 'Counterparts' tour in Murfreesboro.  What's interesting about that one is there Linda and I were - surrounded by all the male fans, and we find ourselves right behind two of them who decided to get in a fight!!  After Linda got a little knocked into by one of them, another male fan (uninvolved in the fray) took exception to that and got involved on her behalf!

Then there was the time during the 30th anniversary tour where I ran into a guy I knew from the message boards (remember that Rush family I talked about?) that was sitting in about the 5th row.  He had some extra seats and after the intermission, he snuck us down there.  We proceeded to do our normal jamming and singing along, only to suddenly notice two gap mouthed Rush gentlemen looking at us.  Puzzled, I leaned into one of them only to be told 'We've never seen Rush chicks who KNOW the lyrics before!!'  Now that made me laugh, since by this point, my extended Rush family included SEVERAL women, all of whom are very devoted fans.

<--- I must digress to say, oh even YESSER!  :)

Anyway - I can't tell you how much fun it is to go to a gig and be, yet again, a bit of a non conformist.  Because even though there are now more female Rush fans than there ever have been before, we're still a bit of an anomaly.

I can only hope I am currently rearing a future Rush fanatic - though knowing my luck, she'll decide that hating Rush is a good way to rebel against her ol' parents.  LOL!  Regardless - there will always be more female Rush fans coming on board because the boys are just too awesome.  You never know - maybe the next 'I'm here with my boyfriend' female that I laugh at will morph herself into their biggest fan.  Stranger things have happened!

7 reasons why I love Rush - part 5

Today's reason - nothing mainstream about them! 

I loathe conformity with a passion.  I find it so incredibly boring that it makes me nod off just talking about it.  *Head banging on desk wakes me back up*

So the fact that I have chosen a band (or have they chosen me?) full of non conformists as my favorite is really no big surprise. 

What IS surprising to me is how people think I WANT them to be mainstream.  Often when I tell someone who my favorite band is, they get this 'huh??' look on their faces.  I proceed to say something like - 'Canadian rock trio...you know, 'Tom Sawyer'? - at which point they act like they know who I mean (even if they really don't).  But when they DO really know who I mean, it's as if they feel bad for me that I had to explain it.  Like it's a bad thing that it wasn't like uttering 'Bon Jovi' or 'Nirvana' where everyone knows instantly what band you mean.

I also find it a HUGE badge of honor that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame have not yet inducted them.  I mean in all seriousness, this is the body who thinks Madonna is somehow more rock and roll than Rush??  Erm, ok.  And I love me some Madonna too - but I think even she would laugh a snort filled laugh at that ridiculousness.  And John Mellencamp?  Nice guy, but did he REALLY contribute more to the influence of rock and roll than Rush????  Not to mention Run D.M.C., R.E.M. (kill me now) and freaking ABBA.  Oh and the Staple Singers.  I know, you're saying 'Who???'  So did I....which makes my point complete.  If they ever come to their senses one day, I truly will have mixed feelings about it.  Happy for Rush in a way for the acknowledgement but -- I like it out here on the fringe, thanks very much. 

Rush's songs aren't conventional - they're not 'single length'.  They have a lot of instrumentals.  They have weird themes and talk about things that seem alien at times and sometimes are (attention all planets of the Solar Federation....  :) 

And possibly best of all - they can do whatever the hell they want.  They don't have a studio dictating to them when they must record and tour - they got rid of that pressure YEARS ago.  When a record company tried to tell them that they had to start making singles, what did they do?  The exact OPPOSITE, thanks very much.  Their logic was if we're going out, we're going out on our terms.  And that is why they continue to speak to my non-conformist spirit.

7 reasons why I love Rush - part 4

One word - diversity.

No, no - I'm not talking about the fact that Geddy wears glasses :P  I'm talking about the diversity of their music catalog.  There is literally something for everyone.

You want something a little 'spacey' or techno?  Try '2112' or 'A Farewell to Kings' (you don't get much more techno than Cyngus X-1). You like some keyboards with your rock and roll?  How about 'Grace Under Pressure', 'Power Windows' or 'Hold your Fire.'    In the mood for classic 'hits' (or as close as Rush gets to that, anyway) - obviously you have to have 'Permanent Waves' and 'Moving Pictures.'   Want your prog rock to have a theme?  'Hemispheres' should do the trick.

And finally - want something a bit more modern and straight out kicking your ass?  There's always 'Snakes and Arrows' - and the new tracks - 'BU2B' and 'Caravan'.  I cannot WAIT to hear their upcoming 'Clockwork Angels'.  Should diversify their catalog even more if you can believe it.

I think this is why I never get tired of having Rush on repeat in my car.  Whatever I'm in the mood for, I can find it - and I know it will be high quality rock and roll.  The fact that my three favorite guys happen to produce it is just a bonus.

7 reasons why I love Rush - part 3

Today's reason:  the lyrics.

Don't get me wrong.  Rush has excellent songs that are all about musicianship and awkward time signatures.  But it was the lyrics that truly brought me to Rush.

I wasn't neilpeart_gal when Chas met me just for the drummer's looks, after all.  (Though he may tell you differently - erm, row boat scene??  ;-)

At any rate - I was first introduced to the trio in high school by a friend in the band (Paul Tramel, take a bow!).  He gave me a copy of 'Grace Under Pressure' on cassette, which I proceeded to wear out in my car.  'Grace' isn't really full of lyrical gems in the grand scheme of their career, but there was something about it I really dug.  Then one day on the way home from school, I heard 'Subdivisions' on the radio.  Had it not been for the DJ, I may not have realized this was Rush, so I kept the station on and turned it up.  To this day, it is something I will never forget.

It was as if someone was speaking for me, not TO me or AT me - which for a teenager was huge.  I mean, who can deny this universal truth:

In the high school halls

In the shopping malls

conform or be cast out

in the basement bars

in the backs of cars

be cool or be cast out...

The whole song was (and is) genius.  I never WANTED to be 'in' and hated conformity - and here was someone acknowledging that and saying 'screw it' at the same time.  He had done it and he had lived to tell about it.  From the perch of a rock band stage, no less -- but he still wasn't talking down to me.  Brilliant.  Fucking brilliant, in fact.

From there, I bought 'Signals' almost right away and began digging into it and 'Grace', listening intently to the lyrics on both.  That started what has since become a lifelong pattern.  First listen, I always tune in for what is being said.  Always.  I do not feel that I 'know' a Rush album until I can sing along to it, word for word.  I may not always agree with what I hear, but it will always, without fail, make me think.  Thinking (wo)man's band, indeed.  (^^Favorite picture of Neil - EVER!)

My favorite Rush lyrical moment to date, though,  still stands from 1980s 'Witch Hunt.'  The entire song, really - but mainly this:

Quick to judge, quick to anger

slow to understand

ignorance and prejudice 

and fear walk hand in hand

If everyone would apply that to their daily lives, even just a little bit - how much better off would we be?  

I know my husband and I will always see this band from opposite sides of the same coin.  That actually makes me like them even MORE. It proves Rush has something for everyone.  You can bang your head, you can listen to complicated rhythms and complex time changes, you can enjoy creative and virtuosic guitar solos and drum/bass riffs - or you can focus on the lyrics to learn, think and expand your mind.  What more can you ask for from a band?

7 Reasons why I love Rush - part 2(112)

Today's reason:  the guys are just so friggin awesome.

This band has been around with 'the new guy' (Neil, hahahaha) for over 30 years.  Same lineup.  That in and of itself is a milestone.  Why has this happened?  Because they are friends first and a band second.

When Neil lost his daughter and wife within a year of each other, no one knew if the band would be back - not even the guys themselves.  But Geddy and Alex's main concern was Neil, and making sure he was ok.  The band was secondary, and they agreed there would be no band without Neil if he had decided to quit.  I wonder how many other bands would have felt that way.

You should also watch the recent documentary 'Beyond the Lighted Stage' for more proof of their awesomeness.   It shows them touring their old haunts in Toronto, where they knew each other as boys and grew up together (namely Alex and Ged).  My favorite part, though,  is at the end where the three of them sit down for dinner.  You can tell they genuinely LIKE each other, and you'll find yourself wishing you could be a fly on that wall for a little longer.  Even if you're no fan of the music, you cannot deny the wisdom, wit and strength of these three personalities.

Not to mention - they have the most wicked senses of humor, about themselves and the wide world.  Don't believe me?  Watch any of their live DVDs and be entertained by the opening and intermission video segments (usually starring Jerry Stiller).  Or attend 'An Evening with Rush' with us on April 3rd and see for yourself.  It's a night of music, sure, but it's also a night of endless pisstaking.  And it keeps me in stitches.

This doesn't even TOUCH on what incredible musicians they are.  Many the bass player cite Geddy Lee as their hero - and I'll still never know how he can sing, play bass AND keyboards at the same time.  I can't even pat my head and rub my belly.  I'm no guitarist, but I do know that few guitarists out there have ever brought me to tears, as Alex has many times seeing him play 'Bravado' live.  Most drummers aspire to be Neil Peart at some point in their lives - if not always.  Clearly I'm no musician (saxophone in the high school band does not count!!), but most people who are - my husband included - often tell me that Rush has few equals in this category.  We're SO not worthy.

Dirk.  Lerxst.  Pratt.  Or Emily's uncles, whichever you prefer.  :)   I bow to your greatness, and appreciate very deeply who you are as men and musicians.

7 Reasons why I love Rush - part 1

Since the Rush gig in Nashville is now 7 days away (OMG!!!!!!!!!), I thought it appropriate to do 7 blogs about the various reasons that I love Rush.  Of course, that could easily stretch into a year's worth of reasons, but I thought 7 days was about as much as anyone could take.  :)

Today's reason:  the 'Family' of Rush

This one is nearest and dearest to my heart.  Rush has given me my little family - my dear husband and daughter would not be my husband and daughter without Rush.  Literally.   And how many people can really say that about a rock band?  See photo of Rush baby below.  :)  If she were a boy, she would have been Alexander Lee.  How 'bout them apples???

But it isn't just my family, either.  It's the extended family of Rush that I am a part of and have witnessed for years.  I have made and kept so many friends just because of this one rock band.  I've known of other couples besides Chas and me that have come together because of Rush.  I know of people with sick children or parents whose 'Rush family' have rallied around to help them with medical bills or whatever else they might need.  I've heard countless stories about someone who was a fan years ago and got back into them recently, only to reconnect with people they hadn't spoken to in years.

I'm sure other bands have similar stories, but I maintain there is some kind of kinship that is special to Rush fans.  I think it's something to do with the band always being a tad 'under the radar' or just on the fringe of what's 'popular' that helps us fans form a certain bond.  (Suck it, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame...)   Whenever I run into someone else who likes Rush, I understand them and they understand me. Because that's what families do.

The King of Stink

The dude who sits in the cubicle behind me has recently been dubbed "The King of Stink."  By me. That's KOS for short.

Thankfully, his stench is not rampant, mutant B.O. (a la Seinfeld) like I have smelled on random a coworker.  No, this is a sweet, Yuppie slash social climber cologne smell which makes me sneeze and blow my nose ALL.DAY.LONG.  Every day.  It's a thousand wonders I don't have to leave work early every freaking day with an 'omg your cologne is gross' headache. Why can't he be one of these managers who is heard on calls but never seen at the office?  It would spare me so much kleenex.

So what do ya do?  Leave him a 'please stop stinking' note on his desk?  Talk to his manager?  (In this revolving door IT shop, I don't even know who that could possibly be.)  Go to HR and complain?  Yeah, because I so want to out myself to them as the freaky allergy girl.  That's how you want to get on their radar!

I don't know him at all other than the awkward 'hi' in the hallway (more of a 'I know you because I sit near you so I have to say hi' than anything) so I can't exactly have a 'hey, could you tone down the stink ass cologne?' talk with him.  Oh and I have had that conversation in the past, in case you were wondering.  But that was with my friend Eddie, and now we kinda joke about it when he reeks.

So, I suffer in silence, sometimes with wads of kleenex shoved in each nostril so I can't smell.  People have come to my desk while this is going on.  Imagine the fast explanation required after someone sees you with a snot rag shoved up to your brain.  Just don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my kleenex.

(New) Nectar of the Gods

I must admit to an unhealthy habit - that of diet soda addiction.  Yeah, I have one and it's not pretty.  But it's the only vice I have, and something has to kill me so - judge me not. 

ANYhow - those who know me well know that I used to never go anywhere without a Diet Pepsi in tow.  Even if I'd go out with friends and they were boozing it up - 9 times out of 10, I preferred to have a Diet Pepsi (Gerianne will attest to this...!).  I called it the 'Nectar of the Gods' and it kinda stuck.

However, somehow, somewhere, that nectar now has a new flavor.  In the form of Diet Dr Pepper.

This happened at some point either during my pregnancy (caffeine free variety, thank you!) or right after.  Either way, I kind of have a small panic attack if my fridge isn't stocked.  Shameful, but true.  I now know which restaurant chains serve it (McDs, Sonic and Hardees in case you care) and which don't (Burger King, Wendy's, even my beloved Panera).  I tend towards those restaurants now if I am out and about somewhere.  I can do Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi, but nothing makes me as happy as the (new) Nectar. 

This little beauty, pictured below, is my new nirvana.  One that I don't get to partake in as much as I'd like.  That's right - Sonic's very own Route 44 sized Diet DP.  And if you to Sonic go between 2-4 pm, it's half price. Happy hour, indeed!!  (I received no financial compensation for this commercial.  :P  If I had, I probably would be drinking my earnings anyway.)

I know, I know.  It's bad for me - but so was staring at things with my eyes crossed when I was little and hey, guess what - they.didn't.stay.that.way.  So there.  Not to mention that scientists will soon discover that breathing air is bad for you, and you must stop it at once.  I'm gonna roll the dice and risk it.  :)

I'm flattered, really - but please learn how to read!

Every day, without fail - and sometimes more than once a day! - my cell phone rings and displays numbers I do not recognize.  Since it's famously hard to talk at work in 'cubicle land', I send them to voice mail.

Also without fail, they are ALWAYS from IT recruiters, wanting me for this job or that. Usually something I'm not even remotely qualified for -- like .Net development, or project management.  Did one of Sammy Hagar's aliens take over my body and write my resume to reflect something I have not even a shred of experience in??

I blame Monster.com for this, as if you have your resume out there and visible, any Tom, Dick or Harry headhunter can see it.  Despite having made clear on Monster that I can NOT consider 'contract to hire' jobs, or that my only IT experience is in QA, they still call me in droves anyway.

I would really REALLY like to take each of their calls and ask them if they actually READ what experience I have, let alone the fact that I cannot consider contract positions.  It's hard to really blow them off, though.  I mean, what if I become one of the 'statistics' and need them for a job in six months to a year?  It's nice to hear that your skill sets -- real or imagined -- are desired.  But flattery - even at it's highest form - does not a developer make.

Generally, all these calls make my face look like this:

Maybe I should just enjoy the misplaced flattery and turn that frown upside down?  LOL.

Where you go, I cannot follow

SIGH.

It breaks my heart to even write this, really, but I think I have to.  Sammy Hagar -  the author of one of my favorite pieces of prose ever ("Give To Live") - had me at hello.

So imagine my chagrin to read that he has possibly lost the plot.

Sammy Hagar abducted by aliens

Does this mean I have to credit E.T. for "Give To Live" instead???  Van Hagar's "Love Walks In" sort of hints at it.  And here I thought that was just a good piece of prose set to music.  Who knew it was likely a page out of Sammy's life?  Hmph.

Some likely see this as no big surprise, and I'm sure my husband finds great humor in this (my brother in law, too) because I always preferred Van Hagar.  Hell, I even drove the 'Red Rocker'-mobile in college -- never mind the fact that the car was BLACK, dammit.

I liked the fact that David Lee Roth - though a better showman than Sammy - was always too wacky to take quasi seriously.  The guy practically spoke ska, for heaven's sake!!!  Sammy being normal made him awesome-r.  

Screw it.  I still think he's awesome-r.  Because normal (and un-downloaded) is so highly overrated...!

It's come to my attention....

...that I've somehow, somewhere, become shitty at parking my car.  (Pause for husband's resounding 'HELL YES!!!!')

I have photographic evidence of this.  Recently, the hubster and babester followed me into a McDonald's parking lot.  I wanted us to have two spaces together, but the first two I saw weren't the lot's normal, diagonal lines - these were straight lines.  Well, for some reason, my mind could not process that in the few seconds I had to spot the spaces and maneuver the car into it.   So here's how we ended up:

To quote my favorite blog, "Whuck!!??!??" 

Two other notes on that photo.  A.) The color is bad because I, in my shame, moved before hubby could get things set right on his camera and B.) you can't really tell, but I'm gesturing to hubby.  In the way that only wives can gesture to their husbands and still live to tell about it.  :)

Then on my dear niece's birthday, St. Patty's day, I came back from lunch and found a juicy corner space at the office lot, and smiled grandly as I swiped it.  When I came back out that afternoon to leave, I noticed the car to my right was inexplicably close to me.  'Jackhole!'  I said to myself....until I realized I somehow had swung my ass-end perilously close to their space. I thereby condoned all cursing that my co-worker had likely bestowed upon my empty vessel and thanked them silently for not keying my car.  I seriously considered leaving them an 'I'm sorry :( ' note under their windshield wiper.  Oh, the shame!!

Then the very next morning, after getting out of the car and procuring my laptop from the trunk, I walked around the driver's side again and thought 'How the hell did I get THAT close to the car beside me??'

Granted, it could be worse - but I am clearly 'cheating' towards the other car.  Not to mention - there's even a curb on my passenger's side, so why didn't I cheat THAT way? AND --  I pulled into the space!  SIGH.  Epic fail.

The absolute worse part of this one was...the car that I was too close to in the above incident???  SAME DAMN CAR from my St. Paddy's day shame!!!!!!!  Thank god I left early that day so they don't think I'm a bad parker AND a stalker.  They would have every right at that point to key my car, or at least egg it.  Shame, part deux. 

I should add that I've NEVER been able to back into a space.  I mean let's be honest, if I had to rely on reverse for anything more than getting out of my garage each morning, there could be big time trouble.  And tons of insurance claims (boy wouldn't State Farm love me then??). Hubby gives me nightmares and cold sweats every time he tells me about the English driving test. I can safely say I'd be a pedestrian only in that country.  No question about it.  Here's hoping we never have to move there, or I'm in trouble. 

I can only really parallel park if there are no cars already in the line so all I have to do is pull to the curb and roll up to a line.  The aforementioned 'reverse rule' curses me here as well.  But between the lines, straight forward parking?  Never a problem.  Until recently.

Now, I could blame a lot of things on this recent development.  I could blame the fact that I'm turning 40 this May, and I just don't give a damn anymore (LOL).  I could blame that having a baby somehow shifted my center of gravity, causing the lines in parking lots to somehow become drastically askew in my field of vision.  Or that the leftover baby hormones and new mommy haze make even the most simple things difficult.  I could blame always being in a hurry when I park (which is sometimes the case).

Or I could just admit to sucking at it more recently, and go on with my life.   I think I'll stick with that.   

Vital Signs

Well here I am, finally becoming part of the new millennium (which is likely the old millennium by now!) - I have a blog!!  I started this because - quite frankly - I have no hobbies!  LOL.  But seriously - watching how much my dear husband enjoys playing his guitar, it dawned on me that aside from work, caring for our daughter and working out, I really don't DO anything.  Let alone something that I ENJOY doing.  And for me, that has always been writing.

Back in the day, I would spend hours upon hours writing the day away - hunched over a legal pad with a pen in my hand, coke can at the ready, and music playing softly (or sometimes not so softly!).  I wrote stories that took me places I'd never been and just enjoyed the process of being creative.  Even if no one else ever read them, that was never really the point for me.  I'd find great satisfaction in just putting the words on the page and playing with them.  Probably what lead me to become an English major in college, though my writing there tended away from the creative.

Of course, I had to name the blog something that would describe it's very nature  - random and (sometimes) short - but also wanted it to be Rush related.  :)  Probably the biggest 'thread' in my life, aside from my family and friends, is Rush.  So I stole from Neil Peart, and here's hoping he won't sue me.  LOL! 

I'm not sure I'll have time to post something EVERY day - I do have a full time job and an 8 month old, after all! - but I just like knowing that I have an outlet.  Even if it's crap on some days and/or no one ever reads it. 

And I find it apt to end with this:

Rush in Nashville - only 16 days!!!!!!!!!!

Whoo f'ing hoo!!!!!!!!